“In my life, I walk a fine line between people hating me for being poor, and people hating me for not looking ‘poor enough.’ When my husband left me and our two kids, I was a stay-at-home mom. Because both of our children were born with special needs that require a lot of time and attention, and I have a health condition that makes full-time employment difficult, it made more sense for me to stay home with the kids and for him to go to work. His departure was unexpected and when he left, he cleared out the bank account and left me financially ruined. I’m having a difficult time getting back on my feet. A long-term career is my goal, but I have been forced to rely on public assistance to bridge the gap between what I do earn from working and what I really need to survive. The day I marched into the welfare office desperately seeking help to take care of my kids will always resound in my mind as one of the most mortifying days of my life. People can’t tell just by looking at me and my kids that I’ve sold a majority of the furniture in my home to pay bills, that I’ve pawned all my jewelry, and that the kids have said many good-byes to toys they love at garage sales to try and stay afloat. No one would know that we no longer own our video game systems, DVD collection, desktop computer, or my bicycle. People don’t notice that my nearly 5-year-old son is still sleeping in his converted crib because I can’t afford a new bed. People see furniture in my home and apparently assume that poor kids don’t deserve a place to sleep, furniture on which to eat, or anything to sit on other than the floor. Yes, I carry a smartphone — but it’s cheaper to pay for the lowest phone plan than to pay for home internet on a monthly basis. By hooking up my phone to my computer for Internet, I’m saving a good chunk of change, but you would never know that unless you asked. Just like you would never know that I’m thin because I’m sometimes hungry, and that because I’m thin, I’m wearing the Abercrombie clothes that were passed down to me by a friend’s teenage daughter. But people never ask, they just judge.”
Thanks @notmyshame for sharing your #noshameparenting story – think before judging!